Iron Gump

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:09 am

I miss those late night runs to IHOP in 1997.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:35 am

What about Village Inn? There is NOTHING like getting asked to leave a Village Inn all-night breakfast buffet at 2:30am.

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:39 am

Why were at the Village Inn....man that must have been a rough week.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:40 am

It was Doolittle's idea.

Come to think of it, I think it was partially his fault for us getting asked to leave!

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:45 am

Doolittle's behavior and the result is us getting asked to leave.....NO!!!

NEVER!!!

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:52 am

Completely back on topic, folks.

As many of you are aware, the simulator upgrades that took place in 1999-2001 were a long time coming for AC. During 1997, several things occured to get the ball rolling. In addition to being sent to California to review a simulator company's software and hardware configurations that became the Mach III sims, I was asked to work with several other counselors and review off the shelf flight software during that winter season.

So, we set up a couple of computers in the rear office of the B-52 trailer (the office near the road) and proceed to load several off the shelf programs like Falcon 3.0, Strike Eagle III and couple of others. We also purchase some flight controls (throttle quadrants and sticks with HOTAS) to fly this sims with.

For about three weeks, there is a counselor flying the sims almost all the time. Except for Monkeyboy, who claimed he couldn't ever get the "stupid" programs to work and he never made it off the runway.

Well, it helps to plug the controls into the right ports on the computer, of course. And being a self appointed computer genius, he proceeded to "re-configure" the computer with the simulators on it.

POOF!

One afternoon, Aunt Bea looks across the office and say, "What's that smell?"

Normally, this would have brought on the usual, "I didn't fart" comment, but as soon as she said it, I smelled something vaguely akin to burning lint or dust.

Well, turns out that in the rear office, Monkeyboy is feverish trying to unplug all the components from the computer. He then bursts out the door and sets the computer on the porch, where it smokes for about five minutes.

The SGM drives by, squeals his brakes, and proceeds to get out of his truck and start laughing hysterically. Monkeyboy's report was as follows.

"Well, I don't know what happened, but I was trying to adjust the power supply, so I unscrewed the cover and was rooting around with the screw driver when I disengaged some wire and it arced."

Aunt Bea : "Do you mean the damned thing was plugged in when you did this?"

MB: "Well, yeah. How else was I gonna see if it would work?"

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 9:58 am

True story folks....

Rat have you noticed that our stories are starting to sound like "There I was" stories....

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:03 am

That, or TINS stories..... HE HE HE HE

But the sad thing is, these aren't passed down stories. These actually happened, and we were there to witness them.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 1:03 pm

And speaking of computers.....

Former Mach II Program Lead Counselor: "What does this mean?"

I slide my chair back and look over at his computer, trying not to laugh.

"You need to have a floppy disk in the drive to save the file."

He looks at me for a second.

"What's a drive?"

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 1:17 pm

At which point, Sandrat picks up a 3 Wood (golf driver) and begins to chase people around the office.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 1:30 pm

I actually did that a few times.

Former PM discussing the usual antics of the Former M1 and M2 program leads while they are literally wrestling in the office over who is right about what the SURVIVAL acronym really is without having to ask the SGM.

"Don't those two remind you of a monkey (expletive)ing a football.

And we wondered why they didn't make it....

SpaceCanada · Post by **SpaceCanada** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 1:58 pm

S-ize up the situation
U-ndue hates makes waste
R-emember where you are
V-anquish fear and haste (I cheated and looked this one up)
I-mprovise
V-alue living
A-ct lika a native
L-earn basic skills

Do I pass? 7/8 isn't too bad considering I haven't looked at this stuff in over a year! Oh, and don't eat polar bear livers, they'll kill you.

Back to the Gump stories...

At a Scout camp way back when we were tenting in a provincial park out in the woods somewhere. All but one Scout was praising how nice the toilet facilities were at the camp - warm water, etc. However, one person couldn't believe how everyone could think a pit toilet was so lovely. Turns out the guilty Scout took the path to the right, which led to a pit, while the rest of us took the path to the LEFT (as told at the beginning of camp) to the heated building with flush toilets and running water. Said Scout failed their orienteering and map modules that weekend... nuff said.

So, it isn't as good as Sandrat or Spanky's stories, but I think it's slightly Gump-ish.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 3:39 pm

Good job! The SGM would be just proud enough of you to smile, and then tell you to get out of his face.

Speaking of getting lost.

The phone rings in the AC Office one early afternoon.

"Aviation Challenge, can I help you?"

"Sandrat? Why is there a GOAT on the ramp to I-565."

It's the PM.

"A GOAT is on the ramp?"

"Yeah, it's parked there. I didn't see who was driving it."

"It's Winky. He was making a trainee run. Is it on the North or South side of the highway."

"Southside just down from the intersection by Landry's."

"I'm on my way."

So, arriving on the ramp, I walk up to the GOAT and proceed to find Winky inside the cab, thankfully with no trainees on board. He looks pale and scared.

"What are you doing out here?"

Winky: "I missed the turn."

Me: "The one by Area 51?"

"Yeah, so I thought I'd just turn right at the intersection and go that way. Then I missed the next turn and suddenly I'm parked here."

Me. Right, like he miracled himself here. "Were you not paying attention?"

"Well, I was, but there was this cute girl driving by and she was looking up here at me, so I said Hi and went through the intersection. I think it was a red light, too...."

Amazingly enough, we got the GOAT backed up and turned back towards AC and immediately pulled Winky's driving privileges.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:38 pm

Gump Trainees

Apologies necessary to any guilty parties out there, but one of the most humorous things in the early days seemed to happen a great deal during the early days of the Mach 2 sim room in the barn and the advent of the Astrotrek program.

We're walking around, helping trainees fly the sims and I see a young kid, about ten or eleven years old with his feet up on the front panel on either side of the monitor. The kid is leg pressing the front panel and pulling on the control stick as hard as he possibly can to get more turn out of the aircraft.

Of course, the stick snaps off. So kid goes to another sim. Snap!

Before he can break a third stick, we pull him out of the sims. When the original T-28 cockpits were brought in, they had the control stick in the middle and it was linked to a digital signal transmitter device to control the sim. The stick and all of its critical parts were steel.

So, we put the trainee in the sim and tell him to have at it.

Ten minutes later, the kid starts yelling at the top of his lungs.

HE BENT THE STICK.

Not much mind you, but enough that the sim wouldn't fly.

Said trainee was kindly removed from the sim room.

And then he hurled after a ride in the centrifuge.

All over the T-38.

What a day.

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:46 am

My name is Iron....Iron Gump, but you can call me Iron Gump!

We went through about 50 or 60 sticks that spring alone!!

What a time! The techs hated replacing those things....looked like a Nextel Cup crew changing tires on the race car!!

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:39 am

But the sticks were endorsed by X-15 pilots and shuttle astronauts! Nevermind that you find stronger plastic in a tub of butter...

Spend money to make money, right?

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 1:46 pm

Well that's what my daddy and grandfather always told me!!!

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 3:26 pm

The SGM always told me that life was like an MRE. You never know what you're gonna get.

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 4:07 pm

I like the Chicken.....come to think about it....it all taste like chicken!

ACluvR · Post by **ACluvR** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 11:58 pm

I think I always ate the peanut butter and crackers and M&Ms and stuff and gave Pyro the rest of my MREs at X-mas camp (which is the best time ever to go to AC imho)... I had shrimp coctail once... ehh... oh well.