Iron Gump

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 9:45 am

MREs now are not near as bad as my first experiences with them back in about 1987. Blech!

I think my all time favorite

was the dehydrated pork patty. Looked like a giant hash brown and was hard as a rock. The chicken ala king was also one that you really weren't sure what you were eating, but when you're lugging a rucksack on long training patrols, you don't care - you just eat.

SpaceCanada · Post by **SpaceCanada** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 10:48 am

I never thought MREs (or whatever they call them in Canada) were all that bad when I tried them in Scouts. For a pre-packaged meal that has a shelf life of several years, they do a good job. The crackers are the best! I also like those miniature heaters that come with MREs - so tiny! I think they run off anti-freeze, but I cannot be sure of that; my husband knows more.

Backpacking food is still better, but I won't complain about MREs. When you are tired and hungry, anything edible is good, and if it tastes half-decent all the better!

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 12:43 pm

Speaking of food!

PAYDAY!!!!!

So, it's the middle of winter and there are no kids in camp for about two weeks. We're working in the life support shop under the bubble arranging harnesses and LPUs for the zipline, clearing out unserviceable parts, helmets, etc.

The SGM disappears for a minute, headed to get a snack. We walks around to the candy machine and soda machines.

"HEY SANDRAT! COME HERE QUICK!"

I head around the side of the bubble and see the SGM on one knee with his hand in the candy machine's tray. He is literally scooping out the candy and snacks into a milkcrate.

The candy machine's sudden electrical fault triggered ALL of the spindles to turn and turn and turn. Emptying the machine in a matter of seconds - even jamming the candies until we kept removing the food.

So, in a matter of minutes there were two full milk crates of candy at our feet. We couldn't believe our luck! We take the candy (still untouched) up to the trailer and lock it in the office.

The next day, the serviceman shows up to deliver sodas and candy. He looks at the empty machine, with it's spindles still turning and starts chuckling. "That's the second machine this week to do that."

"Really?"

"Did this happen overnight? Was anybody around?"

SGM: "No, I was standing right here."

SrvM: "I think it happened overnight. Could have been some kids from the Arsenal sneeking around, right?"

SGM: "Umm.....yeah. It probably was, those unruly little (expletives)."

SrvM: "Okay, I'll reorder another machine and deliver it next week."

SGM: Sounds good, how about a candy bar?

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 3:59 pm

Ummmmmmm.......CANDY BAR!!!

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 4:27 pm

That just reminded me of "Super Trooopers" for some strange reason...

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:09 am

MEOW!?!?!

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 11:13 am

"I swear to God I'll pistol whip the nex tguy who says shenanigans!"

"Hey Farva, what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the funky [stuff] on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?"

"You mean, Shenanigans?"

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH

I love that movie - reminds me of AC for some reason.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:46 am

Back On Topic

After the rain.....

Spring of 1996, we had about three days of torrential rain - like six to seven inches at the very least. The creek that separates the AC compound from the Mach III Escape and Evasion course had crested and then flooded the entire camping area under about eight inches of water.

(How bad was the rain - the two lakes became one. No kidding.)

Once the waters recede, some issues at the old Firecraft area made us decide to utilize the camping area for firecraft for about two weeks while the SGM made us re-dig firepits and re-rope off the area. So, the Mach IIs, under the sterling leadership of Mama's Boy, head down to the camping area for a firecraft session.

Mama's Boy is standing next to one of the metal ringed firepits and giving his lecture. He's talking about the Fire Triangle and types of firepits, etc, and realizes that two girls are sitting on one of the logs and giggling at him.

"What's so funny?"

Giggle, giggle, giggle. "Nothing."

"Then pay attention." And he keeps on going.

In a couple of minutes, all of the trainees are giggling, smiling, and not looking at Mama's Boy at all. They are looking at his feet.

Mama's Boy attempts to step forward and promptly comes out of his sneakers. He'd been sinking in the loose clay and was very nearly two inches higher than his ankle deep.

We dug his shoes out that afternoon.

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:24 am

To bad his Top Gun flight suit did not get sucked down.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 4:04 pm

Ah, the Top Gun, F-14 triangle patch up over the shoulder and onto the collarbone flightsuit. I think all Counselors In Training should have been made to wear them.

His excuse?

Literally, he told his mom to sew the patch on the shoulder seam. So, she literally centered the patch on his shoulder seam - leaving the isoceles triangular patch adorning his collarbone.

Then, she added about every patch imaginable to the flightsuit down both sleeves.

He wondered why his callsign was Mama's Boy.

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 10:03 am

Ahhhhh.....what a sad, strange, little man.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 3:15 pm

Reminds me of the time when Winky was demonstrating how G-suits worked and was wearing his go-fast pants BACKWARDS.

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 3:28 pm

Ranks up there when an un-named counselor crossed the straps of the PCU-15 harness. That's the same harness we use on the tower.....remeber one of the rules.....NEVER CROSS THE STRAPS....you know why.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 3:33 pm

I remember that. Poor guy was blue in the face by the time he hit the water.

And the SGM laughed for three days.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:28 pm

In light of all the snow still on the ground here, another classic Iron Gump moment from the Spring of 1997.

Contrary to popular belief, it does occasionally snow in northern Alabama and not just ice everything over. One evening a light dusting of snow was forecast to come along. Well, a typical Alabama weather pattern ensued meaning you didn't get what was forecast. It snowed a couple of inches, just enough to make things pretty, make the locals run the local grocery store and buy all the bread and milk, cause the other local morons to have countless accidents, you get the idea.

So, reporting in the next morning, I meet the SGM with a snow shovel and we proceed to shovel off the sidewalks and around the B-52 trailer. We shoveled a path down by the bubble to where the buses typically drop off and pick up trainees. Mind you, we didn't shovel the whole area - just a path about eight feet wide.

One would then immediately assume that the counselors would be more likely to walk on the path and the trainees to tromp through the snow, right?

Wrong.

After breakfast counselor (poor Cheeseburger) steps off the bus and gets his Mach II team to walk nicely down the path. Cheeseburger, clad in tennis shoes, walks through the snow and slush and promptly falls down.

At lunch, he falls down leaving for lunch and returning from lunch.

At this point he approaches the SGM about it, and of course the SGM tongue lashes him for not {expletive} walking down the [expletive] path you [expletive] moron....you get the idea.

The Mach II team departs for Museum Time that afternoon before shift change. The bus arrives and the SGM is standing there watching it.

The trainees all march single file to the bus down the cleared path. Cheeseburger tromps through the snow and ice and is about to make it to the bus.

The SGM yells "Hey, Cheeseburger!"

Well, guess who whips their head around and promptly falls down. Again.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:10 pm

Great quote from an A/C Technician:

What do you mean I can't do that? We'll just duct tape it!

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 10:16 am

Actual tech support log found in Mach III sim room.

"Simulator reported down. Won't fly. No wings."

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 10:46 am

Christmas Camp Program Schedule notes:

Mach IIs will report to Space Camp and participate in New Year's activities with the Space Academy trainees at 2100 hours. Immediately following 0000, Mach IIs will board a bus to return to AC. No "patrolling" or other "spirit missions" are allowed.

Funny thing was, guess who gets blamed for trying to TP the Space Camp office trailers that night......

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:27 am

Remember the 1999/Y2K camp programs. I remember the staff meeting the Monday before camp started....

Someone mentioned bring in generators and water buffaloes in case we lost power and water. Ralph said, if we have not already checked all of this out and made sure we are ready to go then we've got a problem.

We were already running the AC sims on the new dates....we had moved it forward and just let them run.....and guess what....THEY KEPT WORKING!!!!

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:47 pm

If I remember correctly, we were extremely well prepared for any eventuality at AC. When I took over at Space Camp the next week, they were still (counselors, not management mind you) convinced that sims were going to crash, etc.

One of the counselors there, a good friend of mine put it this way to assuage their concerns:

"Go back to your Hab room and watch 'FRIENDS' and worry about Ross and Rachel and stop coming in the offices for anything short of nuclear war."

I always wanted to make a sign for that and hang in on my cubicle....