Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Thu May 04, 2006 4:17 pm

Air Education and Training Command:

The purpose is to familiarize the chicken with road-crossing procedures. Road-crossing should be performed only between the hours of sunset and sunrise. Solo chickens must have at least three miles of visibility and a safety observer.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Thu May 04, 2006 5:55 pm

U.S. Army Armor School, Ft. Knox KY

Due to their inability to adequately determine enemy force concentrations, poultry are not recommended for route reconnaissance of any type. Route reconnaissance, particularly in combat situations, is best left to the Armored Cavalry.

HOOAH!

MAYTAG · Post by **MAYTAG** » Thu May 04, 2006 10:05 pm

glad to have you back spanky havnt heard from you in a while

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Fri May 05, 2006 9:49 am

Special Ops:

The chicken crossed at a 90 degree angle to avoid prolonged exposure to a line of communication. To achieve maximum surprise, the chicken should have performed this maneuver at night using NVG's, preferably near a road bend in a valley.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Fri May 05, 2006 9:58 am

U.S. Army Transportation Command

The poultry in question should first delegate the authority to such a move across a main supply route (MSR) to the relevant Battalion Motor Officer (BMO). This junior officer will perform a route reconnaissance, by map if necessary, and conduct all operations forward on the MSR.

Nevertheless, should the junior officer prove incompetent, the poultry in question should remain firmly in the chain of command.

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Mon May 08, 2006 8:02 am

Air Force Personnel Center:

Due to the needs of the Air Force, the chicken was involuntarily reassigned to the other side of the road. This will be a 3-year controlled tour and we promise to give the chicken a good-deal assignment afterwards. Every chicken will be required to do one road-crossing during its career, and this will not affect its opportunities for future promotion.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Mon May 08, 2006 8:24 am

U.S. Army Intelligence Center

Chicken? What chicken?

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Tue May 09, 2006 7:51 am

Tanker Airlift Control Center:

We need the road-crossing time and the time the chicken becomes available for another crossing.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Tue May 09, 2006 8:40 am

U.S. Army Training and Doctrinal Command

"For training purposes, all chickens conducting road crossings must be clothed in full protective gear, MOPP level zero as a minimum, with the requirements of a standard combat load. It is the responsibility of the senior chicken to file all training requirements, risk management tools, and requests for ammunitition accordingly at least 24 hours from the scheduled training date."

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Wed May 10, 2006 8:58 am

C-141 crewmember:

I ordered a no. 4 with turkey and ham, NOT chicken. Besides, where the heck are my condiments?! We ain't taking off til' I get my condiments!!!

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Thu May 11, 2006 7:48 am

B-1 crew:

Missed the whole show--we had an IFE so we couldn't get out to see it; you'll have to ask the SOF.

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 3:03 pm

Tower:

The chicken was instructed to hold short of the road. This road-incursion incident was reported in a Hazardous Chicken Road-Crossing Report (HCRCR). Please re-emphasize that chickens are required to read back all hold short instructions.

pyro · Post by **pyro** » Sat Jun 10, 2006 4:12 am

AC_COUNSELOR:

Sir, its raining! What are we to do with a wet chicken? Can I sent the chicken to its room to take a shower? wait...my chickens are still in the E&E woods.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 9:32 am

Pyro, Great to see you're alive and well!

Huntsville meteorologist Dan Satterfield

"Now the National Weather Service won't say it, but I'm going ahead and giving a Severe Chicken Warning to Huntsville and Madison County. Take shelter immediately! We're all gonna die!!"

**Note: For mainly comedic relief, we'd watch this guy and his antics everytime a thunderstorm came up. He frequently gave his own warnings (calling tornadoes when none were around, etc.) and I can only hope that he's been run out of Huntsville on a rail by now.....

Boomerang · Post by **Boomerang** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 5:39 pm

Lol i wonder if he is any relation to former space camp/academy counselor,transportation director, and hab director Kenn Satterfield who was at sprocket from 1989-1999

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 10:37 am

LB206 wrote:Lol i wonder if he is any relation to former space camp/academy counselor,transportation director, and hab director Kenn Satterfield who was at sprocket from 1989-1999

Not that we know of - though it would be humorous.

Boomerang · Post by **Boomerang** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 6:37 pm

I mighyt have to ask him about it if i can find his email address again. Actuallt saw Kenn last july when i was in Huntsville.

spacy chick · Post by **spacy chick** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 7:10 pm

My friends and I call Dan Satterfield "Disaster Dan"