Disgruntled Southwest Employee

Spanky · Post by **Spanky** » Fri May 12, 2006 8:35 am

From a disgruntled Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, noboby loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Fri May 12, 2006 8:38 am

Another of my favorites from a Southwest flight...

"And just remember ladies and gentlemen this Southwest Airlines flight is a non-smoking flight. Tampering with or disabling the lavatory smoke detectors is prohibited by law. However you are welcome to enjoy the smoker's lounge on the right wing. If you can light it out there, you can smoke it!"

Space Nerd · Post by **Space Nerd** » Sat May 13, 2006 8:34 am

A friend of mine was on was on a flight once where they discussed what the passengers should do if the flight became a cruise. I always found it moderatly amusing.

MAYTAG · Post by **MAYTAG** » Sat May 13, 2006 9:17 am

i cant quote it because it's quite obscene but if you havent heard it you need to track town the southwest clip from carlos mencia's no strings attached

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Sun May 14, 2006 8:50 pm

LOL

Carlos Mencia rocks - and that track is hilarious. I saw Carlos live in El Paso, Texas in2003 when I was on active duty. That guy is fraking awesome!