Iron Gump

A place for ACers to come and hang out after a hard day of escape-and-evade or survival training.

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Spanky
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Iron Gump

Post by Spanky »

Iron Gump: DONE, SERGEANT MAJOR!
Sergeant Major: GUUUUUUMP! Why did you make that bunk so quickly, Gump?
Iron Gump: Because you told me to, Sergeant Major?
Sergeant Major: Outstanding, Gump! This is a new Aviation Challenge record! If it weren't such a waste of a fine pilot I'd recommend you for Mach 3! You are gonna be a counselor someday, Gump!
"We only have a short time to live, so it is essential to do things that are worthwhile and to do them now."Lord Baden-Powell

U.S Space Camp - 1982-1988
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Post by Sandrat »

SERGEANT MAJOR: GUUUUMMMPPP!!! WHAT IS YOUR SOLE PURPOSE HERE AT AVIATION CHALLENGE?

GUMP: To do whatever you tell me to, Sergeant Major!

SERGEANT MAJOR: GUMP, YOU ARE A GENIUS! THAT IS THE SMARTEST ANSWER I HAVE EVER HEARD. ONE DAY, SON, YOU ARE GONNA BE A PROGRAM MANAGER!
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spanky »

Program Manager: Have you found Jerry yet, Gump?
Iron Gump: I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.
"We only have a short time to live, so it is essential to do things that are worthwhile and to do them now."Lord Baden-Powell

U.S Space Camp - 1982-1988
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Post by Sandrat »

GUMP: Sir, there is a dead body on the Mach II Escape and Evasion Course.

Program Manager: Did you see it?

GUMP: No, sir. I did not see it.

Program Manager: Then how do you know it's there?

GUMP: Sir, there is a dead body on the Mach II Escape and Evasion Course.

Program Manager: No, there isn't Gump. It was a trainee playing dead and not a dead body. It's okay.

GUMP: But sir, there is a dead body on the Mach II Escape and Evasion Course.

Program Manager: GUMP! DO I HAVE TO DRAW YOU A {EXPLETIVE} DIAGRAM??
Last edited by Sandrat on Thu May 04, 2006 3:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spanky »

Col. Nakesh: Now you may deal directly with me now; Colonel Nakir Nakesh!
Iron Gump: And you can deal with me; Iron Gump!
"We only have a short time to live, so it is essential to do things that are worthwhile and to do them now."Lord Baden-Powell

U.S Space Camp - 1982-1988
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Knight 3, Commander 77th TFS 1999-2004
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Post by Sandrat »

Program Manager: Gump! What's the problem today?

GUMP: Sir, I do not understand. I seem to have gained an extra trainee this morning.

Program Manager: What do you mean?

GUMP: I circled them up to count them, and I counted one more than usual.

Program Manager: How many kids are on your team?

GUMP: There's supposed to be 12, but there's 13 now.

Program Manager: Alright, Gump. Here's your team, let's count them up.

GUMP: Okay everybody. (Points to self and says) "One.....Two.....

Program Manager simply walks away shaking head.
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spanky »

Iron Gump: Dis is da Bluebird, I be ready to refuel
"We only have a short time to live, so it is essential to do things that are worthwhile and to do them now."Lord Baden-Powell

U.S Space Camp - 1982-1988
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Post by Sandrat »

GUMP's Trainees......


"Ghostrider 201, this is 202. All aircraft safely airborne."

"Ghostrider 202, roger." Pauses. "Ghostrider 204, this is 201. Check our six, will ya?"

A moment passes.

"Ghostrider 201, this is 204. I show our tail clear, and all six aircraft neatly in formation."

"Ghostriders, this is 201 check in."

"202"

"203"

"204"

"205"

Nothing. "Hey! We only have five aircraft, who's in the sixth?"

- -

"Roundtable this is Knight 3, permission to engage over?"
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

CPT Nathan C. Brittles
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Post by Sandrat »

By the way, "Iron Gump" is a collection of the more hilarious stories of a time gone by- both trainees and counselors. A kind of history if you will.

Enjoy.
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spanky »

Spanky: How the hell did a trainee lock himself in the Harrier's cockpit?

Counselor: I don't know.

Spanky: Well did he just miracle himself in there? Did you see him? Were you with him?

Counselor: No, I gave them a break and told them to meet me at the Harrier.

Trainee: No, you said meet you in the Harrier?
"We only have a short time to live, so it is essential to do things that are worthwhile and to do them now."Lord Baden-Powell

U.S Space Camp - 1982-1988
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Post by Sandrat »

GUMP - USSRC TECHNICIAN: What are you guys doing?

Spanky: We're opening this cockpit.

GUMP: But, that's the Mig. You aren't supposed to open that cockpit.

Spanky: Sandrat told me to.

Sandrat: No I didn't, I said we should find a way to drain the cockpit - it's full of water.

Spanky: So I'm opening the cockpit.

GUMP: How will that help drain the water?

Spanky looks at Sandrat, who shakes head and points at submersible pump on wing. "That might do it, don't you think?"

GUMP: But why are you opening the canopy?
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spanky »

Counselor: Today's graduation is brought to you by......the SPORK!!!
"We only have a short time to live, so it is essential to do things that are worthwhile and to do them now."Lord Baden-Powell

U.S Space Camp - 1982-1988
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Post by Sandrat »

Counselor: Hey, we can't get to the back gate for E&E. There's a skunk back there.

Sandrat: Throw something at it.

Counselor: No way - you do it!

Sandrat throws basketball, hits skunk right on the back. The skunk bounces a foot up in the air, lands on its back with its feet straight up in the air like a dead bug.

Counselor: You killed it!

Sandrat, laughing uncontrollably. "Now you can get to E&E."

As Counselor and Trainees walk by the "dead" skunk, it rolls over, shakes itself violently and runs off with fifteen kids and two counselors running in the opposite direction.
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spanky »

Ahhhhhhhhhhh......time for a cold adult beverage to relive the glory days.
"We only have a short time to live, so it is essential to do things that are worthwhile and to do them now."Lord Baden-Powell

U.S Space Camp - 1982-1988
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Sandrat
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Post by Sandrat »

Program Manager: "What are those dogs doing out there by the Land Survival area?"

Asst Mgr: "They belong to Coon Dog."

Program Manager: "What?"

Asst Mgr: "They belong to Coon Dog. He's keeping them out there."

Sergeant Major: "The first time I catch them (relieving themselves) in the Land Survival area. I butcher those (expletive) dogs. I learned how to cook 'em really good in Vietnam!"
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spanky »

Remember the time Jerry collected all of the sand that was brought in from under the bubble and placed it on Stalker's desk?
"We only have a short time to live, so it is essential to do things that are worthwhile and to do them now."Lord Baden-Powell

U.S Space Camp - 1982-1988
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Post by Sandrat »

Stalker: "What's all this sand?"

SGM: "Your trainees left it under the bubble. If I wanted (expletive) volleyball court moved, I'd have had someone competent move it."
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by MAYTAG »

wow ive heard some good ac stories before but these definately take the cake
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Post by Sandrat »

Fortunately, that's just the tip of the iceberg.....
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Post by Spanky »

That is very true. I think we could go to each week and pick 2 or 3 stories that the trainees never knew about that would make them cry in laughter.

A 1996 personal fav.....Lt. Dan and his "Top Gun" flight suit. I did not know it was possible to get 5 or 6 patches down each sleeve.
"We only have a short time to live, so it is essential to do things that are worthwhile and to do them now."Lord Baden-Powell

U.S Space Camp - 1982-1988
Aviation Challenge Staff /Program Manager - 1996-2004
Knight 3, Commander 77th TFS 1999-2004
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