Iron Gump

A place for ACers to come and hang out after a hard day of escape-and-evade or survival training.

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Post by Spyder »

WOW Best Story EVER
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Post by Boomerang »

I remember my team contemplating something similar. And we had never heard this story so the idea was original in our minds anyway. Our plan wasnt quite as elaborate though. We were mainly talking about doing the towels on the heads middle eastern accents, and the anti american talk. For some reason we didnt though and i guess we went with what we thought would be more professional.

I only went to Ac in 96 but i still have some great memories of that week and the counselors like you guys were what made AC so great.
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Post by Safety »

First off I want to state for the record, I am highly offended.................. That I HAVE NEVER HEARD THIS STORY!?!?!?!?!?!!!!



I def, have no stories that come to mind... that, well.... top that..


However Spanky Sir?

Do you remember the "Demonstration" that Bounty Hunters of the first 8 day program did outside your office?

After our first attempt at a peaceful pointless protest was crashed by Spanky, we of course in good arrogant Mach III fashion started a more violent one in the lake later on that day, with a Army of Mach II's we inspired to attack Counselors and other Mach III's.... It took several mins for the Lifeguard to regain order.....

Not one of our most proud moments..... I recall you being rather upset... lol.

But I still maintain my innocence and blame Brass 100%!!!! > <
Caveman too....

But I do have too say, that team was awesome....

I also remember almost crying tears of joy when I first realized what operation Arch Angel was....

I still maintain the highlight was finding Darron's guild placement map in the Paper Bin, up in the computer room was the defining moment, as we began spreading the Guard Positions franticly to the other teams lol.



Man those were the days.....

I miss em' Sir.
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Post by Sandrat »

For some reason this morning, I was thinking about the AC Bullhorn. On one of the SGMs big supply runs to Fort Campbell, he picked up this 1960s Army bullhorn.

Imagine a bullhorn, but with a massive battery pack. The thing took like 6 D size batteries and it weighed about ten pounds. It would work on those batteries for about ten minutes, and then you'd have to replace them.

That, and the shock factor.

One of our AC managers, a quiet soft spoken man, picked up the bullhorn from the counter in the AC office and opened the door of the B52 office trailer to "yell" at the Sergeant Major who was walking to the bubble. There was a light rain falling, and about the time the manager stepped onto the small deck and depressed the power button, a small electrical charge ran through the bullhorn.

After the massive, and I do mean MASSIVE, string of expletives that (to borrow a line from A Christmas Story) is still hanging in space somewhere over the AC lake, the manager threw - threw!- the bullhorn down the hill where it missed the T-38 by about a foot and a half and bounded onto the concrete and broke in two pieces.

We quietly collected the pieces.

Magically, another bullhorn appeared a day or so later.





Grinning, the SGM said he knew one of them would be bad, so he had grabbed two on his run. :D
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by ApolloXI »

Thanks for the laugh Sandrat.
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Post by Spyder »

These stories somehow alwaysserve to brighten an otherwise lame and uninteresting day. But eh nI've learnedthat senior year is really kind of lame no matter which way you slice it in regards to school. These help, A LOT.

We started writing a "SGM PLEASE COME BACK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD" letter, we're hoping it will do some good, but so far I dont think its going to do much
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Post by Granite »

These are some of the greatest stories I've ever heard. I remember a good one involving Spanky. It was back in my years as a Mach II. We were doing water survival when all of a sudden it started to rain. About 2 minutes into the down pour, Spanky come out of one of the railcars with a mega phone, and this is what he says:

"Attention all Councilors and Trainees: It is now raining. That is all."

He then proceeds to return to the comfort of the inside of the railcar.

For those who know me, this is Richard "Granite" Sponholz, WSO of Demon 3. On behalf of all who were part of my squadron, I would like to say a few words...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY McFLY!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Safety »

LOL, I was at camp for that... and remember it like it was yesterday!
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Post by Spyder »

oh Spanky, how we miss thee
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Post by Hollywood »

Dear Spanky and Sandrat,
Say my team really really infinantly wanted a SGM appearance during the Mach 3 + program over the anniversary this June. How exactly would we go about provoking that? For most of us, this our last year, and we really really really miss the glory days of being terrified 1/2 the time. A SGM appearance would mean the world.
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Post by Sandrat »

A SGM visit is possible. Depends on his vacation schedule.
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Sandrat »

Ah, the smell of counselor training....

Since the summer season is almost upon us, and I'm reasonably sure that AC is getting ready for, or possibly into, the latest iteration of counselor training, I thought I'd share a story from back in the old days...when counselor training lost nearly 50 percent of the class and really filtered out the counselors who remained.

You see, back in 1996, I was part of a class of eighteen individuals brought in for training in the program. Of our group, there were three folks who worked as ACATs (Aviation Challenge Action Tour counselors - ah, the joyous days before Asstrotrek). I was one of those folks, so we had about two weeks more "experience" than everyone else.

The first day of training, we all meet in Hab 2 for orientation and paperwork in Challenger. After the briefings, the trips to the laboratory for drug screening and lunch, we report to Aviation Challenge. In the old days, there was a trailer (not at all unlike the survival trailer now) that sat behind the bubble near the camping area. In that trailer was the old Basic Sim Room and two classrooms (one on either end). We report to the classroom for training and meet the staff.

Our trainer, callsign changed to protect the guilty, was Branflake. He lays out the training plan in his monotone inflection and then suggests we go through icebreakers to create our callsigns. At the end of the day, we leave.

Funny thing happens the next day, only about fourteen of us show up. One quit, at least one failed the drug test, and the others....we don't know. We go through the day, including our first training with the SGM. We lose two more counselors before the day is out.

Now we are twelve. At this point, we're all looking around us constantly wondering who will be the next to go.

A full week (an eternity in counselor training) passes. Suddenly, we are ten now. If you'd started a bet on how many would make it through training, I would have bet on at least 12 of 18.

Ten of us received diplomas at graduation. The next morning.

We were nine. (That is a much longer and not so nice story - it remains Classified until further notice).

Was training super difficult? Not really. Was it taken seriously? Absolutely. Did you learn everything necessary to be successful at your job? No. It wasn't designed that way. Being a counselor is not unlike being an adult - many of the counselors throughout the years have been challenged by this requirement, but you take the job responsibly and it will pay dividends in both the quality of the experience you have, and how you relate to the trainees.

I hope training these days stays focused on the positive, encourages counselors to learn and teach the material and not simply regurgitate facts and figures, then go play in the lake. Kids today need every possible encouragement in math and science fields - and when we have the opportunity to reach them, so many of us fall short.

Off my soapbox now. Keep the faith.
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Hollywood »

Sandrat wrote:A SGM visit is possible. Depends on his vacation schedule.
there woulden't happen to be any way to erm....influence the SGM's vacation schedual, would there?
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Post by Sandrat »

The SGM is a force of nature. One cannot influence him, one can only be influenced by him.
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Sandrat »

Once upon a time....Counselor Training

So, I'm thinking about Counselor Training again today, and a funny memory came bubbling to the surface of my mind. It's a Spring Counselor Training session and, imagine this, it's raining in Alabama. Horrors!

This was about the time that the front of the barn was re-configured to house classrooms and sim room, so it wasn't all ready - and the Mach III classroom was full of tech gear for the impending simulator move. We were forced to move training for that morning into the B-52 Trailer that served as the Wardroom...some people call it the Beefer - it will always be the BUFF to me.

Anyway, our intrepid instructor sits down in the posh new furniture ordered for the wardroom. A new kitchen style table with six chairs and the couches, along with the most important piece the television dominated the narrow space. Our training counselors are gathered around as the instructor is beginning the lecture portion of training on the patrolling event and the upcoming escape and evasion event. Leaning back in the kitchen chair, enjoying the fruits of his labors, the trainer smiles a contented smile.

And promptly crashes to the floor as the chair literally disintegrates underneath him.

Never forget your equipment is made by the lowest bidder.





And, by the way, that counselor was Me. :oops:
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spyder »

awww, poor sandrat
The SGM is a force of nature. One cannot influence him, one can only be influenced by him.
Too true. I still wake people up during calculus with a sudden grab and whispering in their ear "Stay awake stay alive soldier"
Maybe thats why no one sits in front of me anymore.... :(
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Post by Sandrat »

Try being out in the middle of the woods, in broad daylight, and having him sneak up on you. The man is a wraith. He wore a gillie suit at AC on numerous occasions and I followed him through a thicket. He never got caught on anything. Truly amazing.
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spyder »

I heard a Mach 2 rear guard once turned around to discover that SGM had taken out his whole team, the rear guard then laid on the groud with his hands over his head in unconditional surrender, mumbling his apologies to SGM

But I always wondered, if the speenies are afraid of the AC people, and we're terrified of SGM, what does that make the Speenies in regards to SGM?
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Post by Sandrat »

The SGM would regard them as:

Cannon fodder.

Fish food.

Easy pickins.

Take your pick.


In his impeccable logic: "Why fly something without a gun on it?"
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spyder »

In his impeccable logic: "Why fly something without a gun on it?"
I think that might have just become my life philosophy
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