Iron Gump

SpaceCanada · Post by **SpaceCanada** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:22 pm

Leaves of three... let it be...

Immune to poison ivy, nice one! What's next, immunity to skunk spray?

Boomerang · Post by **Boomerang** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:49 pm

Actually there are people who don't get a reaction to poison Ivy. Wish i was one of them i got exposed one time on my ankle itched for over a week and spread to my hands thankfully rhee hand rash went away fiarly quickly with some calamine but the ankle itched like crazy. I remember a counselor told me a story at Ac of a kid whobefore escape and evasion earlier in the summer put poison ivy all around him stuffed in his clothes etc needlessto say he survived E and E because noone would come near huim but he didnt have a reaction to it.

SpaceCanada · Post by **SpaceCanada** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 1:59 pm

I never heard of immunity to poison ivy before; wouldn't that be nice!

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:40 pm

LB206 wrote:Actually there are people who don't get a reaction to poison Ivy. Wish i was one of them i got exposed one time on my ankle itched for over a week and spread to my hands thankfully rhee hand rash went away fiarly quickly with some calamine but the ankle itched like crazy. I remember a counselor told me a story at Ac of a kid whobefore escape and evasion earlier in the summer put poison ivy all around him stuffed in his clothes etc needlessto say he survived E and E because noone would come near huim but he didnt have a reaction to it.

Yes, that actually happened too. I remember the kid and the counselors freaking out that he stuffed his clothes full of it. The original Mach III E&E course was a poison ivy heaven for much of 1996.

Boomerang · Post by **Boomerang** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:06 pm

Well Vince aka Hoser was the one who told me the story don't know if the trainee was on his team or not. thankfully i didnt get any poison ive on the Escape and Evasion course i do remember them telling us to wear something on our heads due to ticks though.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 3:36 pm

Hey, PM! I've got a great idea!

Gump (in this case a former Mach II Program Lead) bounds into the office after an informal interview with the staff of Aviation Challenge California.

Gump: Wow! AC California is gonna have paintball! We should do that here!

Me: It'll never fly. Once a trainees gets injured, it will stop. Give it two or three weeks and that's it.

Gump: Hey PM! We should at least try paintball. Come on, it can't be that bad.

PM: Allright, fine. Who has a paintball gun?

Me: I think Juice has one.

Gump: Sweet! (goes running from the trailer)

Me: You know, PM, this is going to have a bad ending.

PM: (sighs) Yeah, probably so. I wish he'd have an original idea.

Two hours later, I'm standing behind the barn with the SGM, the PM, Gump, and Juice. Juice produces the paintball gun and the SGM produces a beat-up BDU (faitigue) jacket.

SGM: Alright, which one of you (expletives) is getting shot at?

PM: Are you sure about this?

SGM: Yeah, it'll be fine. Who's first?

Gump: I'm not getting shot at!

Me: But it's your idea!

Juice: Hell, you can shoot me. I don't care.

The SGM takes careful aim and WHAP! Juice winces from the impact of the paintball on his lower back.

Gump: Well??

Juice: It stings. (Author's Note: Juice is about 6'4" and built like a tank - good counselor, one of the best guys we had)

Gump: Well yeah, would it hurt a Mach II?

Juice: Umm, yeah. They'd all be crying right about now.

Gump: Why don't you get shot, Sandrat?

Me: (Looking at PM for back up) It's your idea, Gump. You should do it.

PM: Just put the jacket on, Rat. (The PM at least took me out for a libation later)

So I do, and when the SGM hits me in the back of the neck, I nearly drop to my knees in pain. My eyes are watering - I didn't hurt this bad when I cut my leg on concertina wire in the Army! From this range, about the maximum distance the Mach II Lead had in mind for his kids, it would never work.

Gump: Well?

Me: No.

Gump: No? No what?

Me: The Mach II's can't handle it. Maybe from a hundred feet or more, but not from fifty feet like you're wanting. Discussion over.

Gump: It can't be that bad!

Me: Then put on the jacket, Gump and let the SGM shoot you!

Gump: Okay.

Gump puts on the jacket and the SGM grins evily. With his back turned Gump says he's ready.

The SGM rapidly clicks the trigger, unleashing five straight shots at Gump's backside, each impacting the poor guy in the extreme lower back. You can guess where.

Gump (now lying on the ground holding his backside): Yeah, that was a pretty dumb idea, huh?

SGM: Next time you wanna try out an idea, let me know first. Then you won't waste everybody's time on your (expletive) (expletive) ideas!

And so, the concept of paintball at Aviation Challenge died for what we think was the second time in its history. We did switch to water guns after that, though....

tennisrox014 · Post by **tennisrox014** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 8:03 am

now there are no guns.

Hawke · Post by **Hawke** » Thu Aug 31, 2006 9:58 pm

Sandrat wrote:The following is a vague recollection of an actual phone message left on the Aviation Challenge answering machine during the summer of 1996. This phone call happened early one afternoon, and I think it's safe to say we are all glad we were not in the office.

During 1996, Aviation Challenge had a really cool commercial that was nearly 100% footage of combat aircraft dogfighting with a little bit of text and graphics about the AC program. This commercial aired a lot on the West Coast.

"Yes, my name is Jane Smith, and I'm just wondering what kind of camp this is? I saw this commercial on television and I really want to know who in their right mind would be brainwashing our nine and ten year olds into some neo-fascist skills camp for future war criminals? You're program is simply outrageous and embarassing to all people who view peace as an imperative. Instructing our nine and ten year olds in sick and cheap entertainment brainwashing them into violently tempered individuals is wrong. I'm calling from Berkeley, California, and I can assure you that I will do everything in my power to make sure no more innocent children are corrupted by your filthy excuse for a camp."

Wow...all that went through my head while I was reading this was the ENDLESS droning that took place during oh so many marches between SC and AC:

"KILL, KILL, KILL MAIM DESTROY!"
"With a gun!"
"KILL, KILL, KILL MAIM DESTROY!"
"With a knife!"
"KILL, KILL, KILL MAIM DESTROY!"
"With a grenade!"
"KILL, KILL, KILL MAIM DESTROY!"
"With a toothpick!"
"KILL, KILL, KILL MAIM DESTROY!"
"With a spork!"
"KILL, KILL, KILL MAIM DESTROY!"

MAYTAG · Post by **MAYTAG** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 8:10 am

i mean of course isn't that what we were all thinking???

tht is sooo rediculous

SpaceCanada · Post by **SpaceCanada** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:04 am

I have also been lectured on how Girl Guides (Girl Scouts) is a cult and is brainwashing our children to be prissy housewives! I guess all housewives these days sleep in tents, use pit toilets, build bird houses, blow up gummy bears, and are pyromaniacs... Some people... they can find a reason against everything.

Deimos · Post by **Deimos** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 10:48 am

SpaceCanada wrote:I have also been lectured on how Girl Guides (Girl Scouts) is a cult and is brainwashing our children to be prissy housewives! I guess all housewives these days sleep in tents, use pit toilets, build bird houses, blow up gummy bears, and are pyromaniacs... Some people... they can find a reason against everything.

Lol, that's nothing like girl scouts just to let you know...It way different, and teaches us NOT to be prissy housewives, but to be independent and stuff...Okay if that's making any sense but anyways, that's not anything like girl scouts.

SpaceCanada · Post by **SpaceCanada** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 11:35 am

Yeah well... I refuse to let my Brownies/Girl Guides become prissy housewives. If I can get them to play soccer in the mud, blow up gummy bears over the fire, and LIKE using pit toilets, I have done my job. So far only one girl has slipped through the cracks, but she left the group shortly thereafter because she was too prissy. Too bad for her...

Although, I know there are a lot of prissy Girl Guide/Scout groups out there... shame on them!

Moving on...

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:54 pm

Another Gump Moment:

Early early spring (middle of winter) January morning and the Basic (Mach II) kids are off to firecraft.

Gump returns from Land Survival support more than thirty minutes after he should have - minus most of his eyebrows.

Me: What happened to you?

Gump: I was making sure the fires were out, and I grabbed that big red can and dumped it on one of the fires. It wasn't water.

Me: Did you read the can - that was gasoline for the Sergeant Major's weedeater....

Gump: Yeah I noticed that after the big flash of heat....

Hawke · Post by **Hawke** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:14 pm

Sandrat wrote:Another Gump Moment:

Early early spring (middle of winter) January morning and the Basic (Mach II) kids are off to firecraft.

Gump returns from Land Survival support more than thirty minutes after he should have - minus most of his eyebrows.

Me: What happened to you?

Gump: I was making sure the fires were out, and I grabbed that big red can and dumped it on one of the fires. It wasn't water.

Me: Did you read the can - that was gasoline for the Sergeant Major's weedeater....

Gump: Yeah I noticed that after the big flash of heat....

SpaceCanada · Post by **SpaceCanada** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:24 am

And some people question the need for Darwin Awards...

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 3:42 pm

And speaking of Darwin Awards....

Gump Trainee: Why do we have to be strapped into the zip line? I thought when you parachute you just held onto the straps..."

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:59 am

Team, Callsign, and Counselors names to protect the guilty.

One of the first patrolling events actually had the trainees board rafts and paddle across the unchlorinated lake to meet up with a friendly partisan who would take them to the E&E zone.

This is a true story.

Counselor Zap: Okay, here they come - is the Sergeant Major back yet?

Counselor Lunk: No, he's on his way from the E&E Course. We'll have them set up a security perimeter and wait for him.

The raft arrives and the trainees pile out onto shore (above the concrete curb embankment next to the long gravel road). Quickly, they discuss creating a 360 degree perimeter. They quickly spread out.

SPLASH!

SPLASH!

SPLASH!

No less than three of the Pukin' Dogs step backward off the curb into the lake.

Counselor Zap: Um, you guys aren't supposed to be in the lake.

Counselor Lunk: Yeah, you might get in trouble. Get out of the lake.

Wet trainees haul themselves out of the lake and and sitting on the edge of the lake trying not to laugh.

The Sergeant Major emerges from the woodline quickly and walks up to the giggling trainees. He immediately figures out what happened and tries not to smile. He begins to "brief" the trainees on the next portion of the event and E&E. He's just about finished and..

SPLASH!

Counselor Zap falls into the lake, much the same way as his trainees did.

SGM: Zap, get your (expletive expletive expletive) out of the lake!

Counselor Lunk reaches out a hand to hoist Zap from the lake and...

SPLASH!

Lunk and Zap are left standing in the lake as a smiling SGM and twelve laughing trainees head into the woodline.

Moral of the story: Situational Awareness is key - lose sight, lose the fight!

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:47 pm

Thanks to Spanky for reminding me of this one.

Christmas Camp - Capture the Flag Event

One fine (and really cold) Christmas Camp, the Mach 3 Trainees were quite full of themselves and challenged the counselors to a game of Capture The Flag.

Once the rules were finalized and the teams organized, the field of play was determined to be completely within the fenced area at AC. Ready, set, go, right?

Rule Number One: THE LAKE IS OFF LIMITS

Hence we come to the part in the story where Spanky and Doolittle have cornered a Mach III trainee who was successful enough to have seized the Counselor Flag, but has found themselves trapped on the large concrete drain across from the Zip Line. Roughly eight feet square, the drain is completely inside the concrete shoreline of the chlorinated lake, but since it is a solid surface, the trainee has jumped out there to try and save themselves and get the flag back to their team.

Looking from Spanky and Doolittle back to his counterparts on the other side of the lake, and back again a plan is forming! Swim across the lake!

Problem is, the lake is roughly 58 degrees.

Spanky sees the idea forming in the trainees eyes and within a split second the trainee darts off the side of the drain with Spanky yelling something to the effect of "IF YOU GET IN THAT LAKE I'LL RIP OFF YOUR ARMS AND BEAT YOU WITH THEM!"

The trainee seems to hang in mid-air, realizing the implications of his mistake and for the first time seeming to ponder the fact that no one has gotten in the lake all week because it's been too cold. Much like Scooby Doo running in mid-air, the trainee finally succumbs to gravity.

SPLASH!

Counselor MO is on the scene, and she jumps into the lake after the trainee with the clear intention of rescuing the almost popsically frozen trainee.

They both spent about forty minutes in hot showers trying to warm up.

Sandrat · Post by **Sandrat** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:18 pm

One day in early 1996, the AV-8 Harrier arrived at AC and the decision was made to move the MiG-17 from its previous position on the east entrance of the Barn to another spot up on the hill by the B-52 trailers.

Problem was, the Techs weren't sure how to move it. This is their story.

Tech 1: Well, if the Harrier's going over there we have to move the MiG. But how?

Tech 2: We get a tractor and a tow cable, that'll work.

Tech 3: Are you going to attach it to the landing gear? It might rip out?

Tech 1: We have to move it.

Tech 2: What about tying it to a bus with rope - you know - wrap the rope around the wing roots.

Tech 3: That might work.

AC MGR to a group of Us: This could take all day.

Doolittle: I'll get the jeep, we'll move it in about two seconds.

MGR: That'll mess up the grass. It's too wet.

Grump: Let's push it.

MGR: Will it move?

We remove the wheel chocks and push the aircraft up the hill - five of us.

The techs are still talking about how to move it.

Tech 1: Wait - what are you guys doing?

Tech 2: They won't get up that hill.

Tech 3: We'd better get a rope.

About a minute later, we've wrestled the MiG into position and replaced the wheel chocks.

Tech 3: You guys still need a rope?

SpaceCanada · Post by **SpaceCanada** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:53 pm

The lake doesn't freeze over in winter?