Iron Gump

A place for ACers to come and hang out after a hard day of escape-and-evade or survival training.

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Sandrat
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Post by Sandrat »

Not a great management decision, but she was well liked by a previous PM and SR VP. Still, the best part apart her tenure was the time Rambler questioned everything she said dealing with flight planning and the use of the flight computer (EA6-B?)

Nice to see you on here, Gordo.
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Post by gordo »

I also seem to recall an event involving needing to move a desk from one B-52 office to another. In order to move said desk certain tools were required to disassemble the desk to get it through the door. My recollection is not the most precise, but you should get the idea. Standard disclaimer applies, names changed, blah blah.

M3 Lead: Blink, we need to take the desk apart to get it through the door. Run down to the tech shop and get us a screw driver.

Blink: Ok.

-- {Interlude involving calling ahead to the tech shop, Blink quickly returns}

Blink: Here's the screwdriver.

M3 Lead: D* it, that's a right handed screwdriver, we need a left handed screw driver. Get back down to the tech shop and get us a left handed screw driver.

-- {Blink leaves to retrieve the quest item and returns}

Blink: Here's the screw driver.

M3 Lead: I thought I told you a left handed screw driver, this is a Phillips headed screw driver. Nevermind, I'll do it myself.
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Post by SpaceCanada »

And.. since screwdrivers are both right and left handed (unless they have a one-way ratchet) this is just about as funny as asking someone to get checkered paint!

I'm still a fan of the Robertson screw.
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Post by Sandrat »

The same counselor was once tasked to go ask the Sergeant Major for 50 feet of shoreline, too.

:)
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Post by Boomerang »

I remember at boy scout camp we would send new scouts to the quartermaster to get a left handed shovel sharpener.
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Post by Sandrat »

Other Boy Scout Camp ideas:

Smoke Grinder

Bacon Stretcher
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Post by SpaceCanada »

Sandrat wrote:The same counselor was once tasked to go ask the Sergeant Major for 50 feet of shoreline, too.
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Post by gordo »

This same counselor (or a clone, there were many) was also tasked with going to a home improvement depot to retrieve 5 gallons of prop wash.
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Post by Boomerang »

LOL youd think the counselor would have caught on eventually.
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Post by tennisrox014 »

lol, thats sad.
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Post by Repeat »

were their socks untied? Did they always wear the same clothes they had on the day after yesterday? Were they always dropping their pocket?

It sounds like one of those kinds of people.
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Post by Sandrat »

Gump: Um, PM, my kids are ready for E&E, but the only suits I can find that fit them are the old orange ones.

PM: You've got a Mach 1 team, Gump. They don't really escape and evade anyway.

Gump: Well, I know that. But the Mach III's are down there writing Huntsville Jail on my trainee's backs and threatening to call the cops.

PM (trying not to laugh): And you didn't stop this?

Gump: No. Those Mach IIIs are all bigger than me.

PM: You're a counselor, Gump.

Gump: But they're big guys.

PM: You're twenty-one years old, Gump. They can't even drive yet.

Gump: You don't understand, PM. They're really tall.

PM: Gump, go find Phonics and tell him to deal with those trainees.

Gump: He's too skinny. They'll beat him up, too. Can you tell them to stop?
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Post by Boomerang »

LOL i remember those orange suits when i was there. Always wondered if anyone actually used them. I know i have a picture with them seen in the background on a rack under the bubble. http://ibnerd.net/main.php?g2_itemId=6077
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Post by Sandrat »

Gump, A Former Lead Counselor...

This former lead counselor is patiently removing the reflective tape off an HGU-33 single visor flight helmet in the B-52 office trailer one Wednesday evening.

Upon opening the door of the trailer, I am immediately overcome by the fumes of the adhesive remover called "OOPS." I look back into the far western end of the trailer to see this Lead Counselor removing the reflective tape slowly with his head basically lolling from side to side.

We quickly turn on the air conditioner's fan only setting and open the doors of the trailer, making our way back to his office and opening the end door near the road.

Lead: Heyy guyyssss......what's upppp?

Me: C'mon, stand up. You've got to get some fresh air.

Lead: Wha???? I'm okay. That stuff just stinks is alllll.

Hoisting the Lead to his feet, we finally get him onto the small wooden staircase. After about five minutes he looks around at us.

Lead: What are you guys doing here?

Me: We got you out of the office. The fumes from the OOPS were awful. You about passed out.

Lead: No wonder I feel like I'm gonna throw up.....

Thankfully, he didn't give in to that feeling.

The next evening, we placed a large sign on the Lead's desk saying that until further notice, anything he used was to be used in a well ventilated area.....

When he left, we took away his bottle of OOPs and placed in on the shelves of the AC tech shop where he could no longer get to it. I wonder if it's still there.....
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Post by Sandrat »

Iron Flipper

(Flipper was a sort of Lead Counselor, part Manager who held his position for a few months before taking over the fledgling Astrotrek program back in the day- he retired from the Air Force as a Chief Master Sergeant)

Scene: Top Kick has just returned from a MASSIVE supply from from Fort Campbell, Kentucky with all kinds of BDUs for Escape and Evasion, survival equipment, and a whole host of other items that literally filled a large truck. We're naturally going through the items for our programs when this happens:

Flipper. Man, there's a lot of stuff here! Look at those pilot's kneeboards! Survival tools, shovels, compasses! I can't believe some of the stuff you got, Top Kick.

Top Kick (shrugs): Just grabbed what I could, you know?

Flipper: What's in this box?

Top Kick: I want to make a display with that.

Flipper (opens the box): This is an American flag. (He studies the flag) Wow, this is the best made flag I've ever seen. Heavy fabric, completely embroidered stars and everything. We should make a flagpole and fly this flag.

Top Kick: I was going to make a display with it.

Flipper: What kind of display?

Top Kick: I was going to fold it and case for as a kind of memorial, you know. For all those who've sacrificed for our country.

Flipper: But this is a great flag, Top Kick! We should hang it.

Me: Have you read the box, Flipper?

Flipper: What does Flag, United States, Internment mean?

Me (looking at Top Kick who is shaking his head): Internment means it's a burial flag. You know, covering the casket before it gets folded and presented to the family?

Flipper (Dropping the box like its suddenly four million degrees Fahrenheit) Oh! Why didn't you say so?

Top Kick: Don't they teach you how to read in the Air Force?
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Post by Sandrat »

Iron Flipper...Fashionista


Every winter, counselors are screened, interviewed, and hired in for the spring camp season. Managers from all programs are present to review applications and conduct interviews during job fairs that (might still) took place in Challenger auditorium.

One particularly cold afternoon, we're returning to AC when a figure, dressed in a classicly awful suit and the most hideous coat strolls into Gate 18 (Space Camp main gate). (I hope I got that number right....If not, someone will surely rip me apart...)

It was the man, the myth, the legend:

Flipper

The suit is brown plaid with a butterfly collar along with a tie that I swear must have been pale lavender. But the jacket was pure John Shaft.

[darn] right.

Wool checked, with big brown leather buttons and hanging to his knees, Flipper had the coat's faux leather belt tied snugly around his waist and the fur collar nestled under his chin.

Yes, I said fur collar. Not faux fur, something actually died to make that coat.

We nearly cracked up. Not only seeing Flipper in a suit, but a bad suit and the presence of the fur collar. We considered changing his callsign to Shaft, but the fact he became red faced and promptly returned the coat to his car was too much to bare.
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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Post by Spanky »

I seem to recall Flipper wearing the same outfit for a corporate camp we did. Nothing more entertaining that seeing Flipper in "Shaft" mode with his counselors standing around looking all bad a** in their flight suits.
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Post by SpaceCanada »

Oh dear... what an odd commentary from AC. I always knew counsellors were a unique breed. ;-)

Glad to see you back on the forum Spanky and Sandrat. :-) Keep the stories coming.
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Post by rycho626 »

sgt major also = great song by JET
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Post by Sandrat »

Another one bites the dust....for a few days anyway.

Top Kick is walking up the sidewalk from the bubble towards the B-52 with a five gallon gas can in his hand. Naturally, upon seeing this our illustrious PM opens the back door of the office.

PM: "Hey Top Kick, what's with the gas can."

SGM: "Bunch of poison ivy where the Mach I's want to move their land survival stuff too. I'm going to get rid of it."

PM: Looking suspiciously at gas can. "You're going to burn it out?"

SGM: "Yep."

PM: "Space Camp isn't even allowing rocket launch it's so dry right now. I don't think its a good idea."

SGM: "It'll be fine."

PM: "Maybe we have a counselor who doesn't get poison ivy." Looks at me - "What about you?"

Me: "Um, I spent a week at home last year because the stuff got almost all over me. So I'm not going anywhere near it."

Gump - happens to be walking by. "I can roll around in that stuff and not get it. What do you need?"

Top Kick explains the situation and walks out to the Land Survival area with Gump (name changed to protect the guilty as usual). Gump works for a few hours and clears the poison ivy out and then sprays it down with Ivy-Out. All is well.

Two days later, Gump arrives for support duties.

SGM: You've got a rash on your leg, Gump.

Gump: Yeah I know, it won't stop itching.

Two days later, the rash is worse.

Gump: Um, Top Kick. I think I have poison ivy rash.

SGM: Whatever gave you the first (expletive) clue, Sherlock?

Gump: But I've never had a problem with it before.

SGM: You need to go see the nurses.

Gump; It'll go away, I'll be fine.

Next day.

PM: Where's Gump?

Me: They took him to Huntsville Hospital last night. The poison ivy got in his bloodstream. He's at his room medicated and resting. We checked on him about an hour ago.

PM: Will he be alright?

Me: Yeah, should be back to work on Sunday.

PM: Okay - looks off in the distance. Where's Top Kick?

Me: Out at land survival.

The phone rings, it's security.

SEC: What are you guys burning out by rocket launch?
"You made a fool out of young lieutenants. That's not against Army regulations."

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