Iron Gump

A place for ACers to come and hang out after a hard day of escape-and-evade or survival training.

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Post by Sandrat »

Just the image of that triangular F-14 patch with the apex of the triangle center on the shoulder seam at this neck and draping over the shoulder was enough for his original callsign to be Mama's Boy.

Amazingly, he quickly changed his callsign, cut the patch off and ran the rest of them down his sleeves, moved to AC California and disappeared.

Hmm...
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Post by Spanky »

Call me crazy but did'nt we close AC California down......yeah I seem to recall that. I wish we could have had that facility (housing, office space, sim bays, etc) in Huntsvegas.
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Post by Sandrat »

Single best decision I ever made at AC - not to be recruited by AC California.

Had we their facilities, our ideas, and our marketing scheme ideas, AC California could have been a big success - of course a major part of their program was LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.
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Post by Spanky »

We would need our sims though. Even the old M3 sims we had in 1996-1999 was better than theirs. What we installed in 1999 with Eagle was light years ahead of what Cali was using.
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Post by Sandrat »

Yeah, their sims weren't much more than a video game. Their sims even gave you points as you flew.

They were nowhere near as cosmic as our sims were with Eagle. The first time I went to CA to see the Eagle stuff I was blown away. I knew we had to have it.
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Post by Sandrat »

Program Manager: Spanky, I want you to ride in the Centrifuge with a celebrity.

Spanky: Who is she?

PM: Not a she, it's Andy Richter from the Conan O'Brian show.

Spanky: The fat guy?

PM: His weight is irrelevant - you need to ride with him.

Spanky: Okay.

Thirty minutes later....

PM: What happened?

Spanky: He hit the emergency stop switch.

PM: Why?

Spanky: He was green.

PM: Did he get sick?

Spanky: No sir, because if he had, it'd been your (expletive) in there cleaning it up!
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Post by Sandrat »

Another Iron Gump story:

Program Manager: It's raining for the third straight day, can we get someone down here to fix the leak in our office (the first B-52 trailer).

USSRC Facility Manager: No problem, I'll send someone down. When it stops raining that is.

Program Manager: Fine. Thank you.

Three days later (and ten five gallon buckets of water later....)

Program Manager: How's it going?

USSRC Tech: Fine. You really might want to move that desk.

Mach I Manager: Why? It's where I like it?

USSRC Tech: It's under this here roof hatch where the leak is.

Mach I Manager: Then just fix the leak!

Program Manager: Yeah, can't you guys seal it up or anything?

USSRC Tech: Well......Yeah, I think I've got some sealant that will work. Let me get it and I'll apply in the hatch and seal that leak up.

Two days later, and the rain (as it often does in Spring in Alabama) is torrentially coming down outside. And the roof is leaking again.

Program Manager: Why is the bucket out again?

Mach I Manager: But the roof is leaking.

Mach II Manager: Yeah, the roof is leaking again.

Mach III Manager (shaking my head from side to side): Move your desks, unplug your computers and stop staring at the ceiling.

Program Manager: Come on guys, get it together.

Mach I Manager: But the roof is leaking.

Program Manager picks up phone: I'm calling the Facility Manager - this is ridiculous!

Mach II Manager: They left this roof sealant stuff down here. (Holds up tube of caulk).

Mach III Manager laughs out loud: "You idiots. Did you read that?"

Program Manager dials the phone. "Hey, our roof is still leaking."

USSRC Facility Manager: "My technicians fixed that - are you saying they're lying?"

Program Manager: "Um, not really."

USSRC Facility Manager: "Then what's the (expletive) problem?"

Program Manager holds out the phone....

Mach III Manager speaking very loudly in the background. "Tell that (expletive) his techs used water soluble caulk on the roof!!"

The same tech returned, in the rain, to try and fix the roof again. Two weeks later, they finally got it right.
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Post by Spanky »

As we go to the standard AC response......

CHARLIE FOXTROT!!!

Or for the mare cultured and formal days.....CHARLES FOXWORTHY!!!
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Post by Sandrat »

Speaking of Charlie Foxtrot.....


Mach III Manager: Um, Mr. Sr. Vice President, um sir, the UAT director is down here and he's demanding that everybody get out of the lake.

SR VP: What?

Mach III Manager: I've talked with the Program Manager, and we've checked the chlorine level in the lake. Its slightly low, but it's swimmable.

SR VP: And he wants everybody out of the water?

Mach III Manager: Yes, sir.

SR VP: How hot is it down there?

Mach III Manager: Sir, we're operating at CAT 5 (heat category 5 - 50 minutes in the shade, no more than 10 minutes outside - swimming exceped - lake temperature was 82 degrees - ambient air about 104)

SR VP: And he wants everybody out of the lake?

Mach III Manager: Yes, sir.

SR VP: What a moron. I'm on my way,

The SR VP just happens to arrive as the former UAT director was ordering everyone out of the lake, blowing on his whistle and stomping up and down on the beach.

What happened next, well, it cannot be printed here. Let's just say that the SR VP went into about a four foot hover for about ten minutes and gave the former UAT director a colossal piece of his mind.

And the rest of us....we sat and watched and nearly gave the SR VP a standing ovation as all the kids got back in the lake.... :D
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Post by Spanky »

SO SAYETH THE SR. V.P.!!!!
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Post by Repeat »

as a former camper and current counselor, I'm really enjoying your stories of what happened when I was a camper - because I know things like this still go on while I'm a counselor :-P
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Post by Who »

I always had a fondness for National Hug a Crab Day. Fun with the bull horn.

Carry on.
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Post by Sandrat »

Back To Iron Gump, Stories from the Front:

AC Lead Counselor for Training: It's a beautiful Sunday morning. What the hell!?

Out in the lake is one of the 15-20 passenger hexagonal rafts, fully inflated with what appears to be a figure sitting in it, relaxing.

AC LCT: Who is that? Get them out of there!

Nothing happens.

Counselor (snickering): There's one on the tower, too.

Hanging from the harness on the tower is a figure in a flightsuit with rescue buoys for legs and a blue helmet strapped on. A dummy.

AC LCT: (At this point releases expletive laden tirade and proceeds to call the PM)

PM: What's up?

AC LCT: Those &#$((*(*)(*#$@#$_)(@%)(#$@#$)*%(#@% put dummies on the tower and out in the lake. We've got graduation for the Parent Child program in thirty minutes. It looks like a disaster area!

PM: Well, get it cleaned up.

AC LCT: I've got too much to do, and I don't have any extra counselors!

PM: Get it cleaned up.


Long story short - The dummies were still in the lake when trainees started to arrive. A few unnamed personnel who actually put the dummies in place between security checkthroughs and drive-bys, under cover of night and well-fueled if you catch my drift, actually had to go and get the stuff out of the lake.

The PM knew all about it.

She was in on it, too.

And that AC LCT - she left soon after.......I can only imagine why?
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Post by Spanky »

As a former coundelor/ATCO/Mach 3 Lead/Assistant Manager/Aviation Challenge Program Manager, I have NO knowledge of the previous mentioned incident. It goes against the rules and code of conduct.

With that said........
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Post by Spanky »

As a former counselor/ATCO/Mach 3 Lead/Assistant Manager/Aviation Challenge Program Manager, I have NO knowledge of the previous mentioned incident. It goes against the rules and code of conduct.

With that said........
"We only have a short time to live, so it is essential to do things that are worthwhile and to do them now."Lord Baden-Powell

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Post by Sandrat »

Umm, I seem to remember swimming that raft out in the middle of lake with your assistance...... 8)

And if I remember right, the whole thing was your idea, Spanky!
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Post by Sandrat »

M3 Counselor: "Um, there is a water leak in the bubble."

M3 Manager: "In the bathroom in the bubble?"

M3 Counselor: "Um, no. In the bubble. You really need to come down here."

Arriving on scene, there are trainees still in cockpits, flying their missions and nearly an inch of water is on the floor. Simultaneously, about four of us start screaming at the trainees to evacuate the cockpits.

As they do, we determine (along with one of the few techs that was worth anything at all) that a major water line has ruptured near the girls bathroom. From the small techspace behind the Briefing Room we can see the two-inch water line spewing water everywhere.

Our techs try in vain to reconnect the pipe. It honestly looks like a submarine movie with them flailing around in this tiny space trying to seal this pipe.

Spanky and I have the same idea at the same time. There has to be a master cut-off for the water. So we literally fall down the stairs, wade through now two inches of water (which counselors are beginning to sweep out of the bubble now that the sims have turned off - thanks to jumped circuit breakers).

Outside, I find the box, open the lid and turn the water off about the time the USSRC Facility Manager arrives.

He walks in, surveys the damage, sees the techs reconnecting the pipe and asks, "Why is the water turned off?"

8O

**Author's Note- In all fairness, the former USSRC Facility Manager really was a good guy, and we joked and laughed a lot about those days at AC a few years later.
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Post by Spanky »

Prepare to DIVE!!!!
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Post by Sandrat »

Poor Spanky...here's a dollar, go down to the corner store and buy yourself a clue, huh?

:)

Anyway, you made me think of something else: In the Spring and first few weeks of summer in 1996, Aviation Challenge featured a familiarization program with remote controlled aircraft. Used on the same field where Rocket Launch is next to Area 51, this was a really cool activity, and in the hands of a competent pilot an RC aircraft made a great impression on students.

And then there came "Bonehead" (callsign changed to protect the guilty).

When I went through counselor training, this guy won Top Gun and had a little bit of military background, but he was clearly chosen for AC because of his experience with model aircraft and RC aircraft.

Within a six or eight week period, both of AC's remaining RC aircraft were trashed.

Here's story number one from the eyes of a Mach 2 trainee:

Bonehead: "Alright, you guys do some aerial maneuevers in the sims, let me show you what they look like with a aircraft.....here's a simple roll......now let's do a loop.......okay, we're going to do a half Cuban eight......now, we're gonna buzz the deck.......and take her up quickly and level out.......and roll it over and do a Split S.....


SMACK!! (And a small puff of smoke and flame)

Needless to say, from thirty feet off the deck, not even a vectored-thrust powered RC aircraft could complete the turn. The largest piece of the beautiful little bi-plane was about the size of an apple.

When asked what happened, Bonehead's response was: "Big deal, I crashed the plane."

PM: "You tried a Split S from thirty feet! What the hell were you thinking."

Bonehead: "Um, that it would make it."

PM (shaking head wildly at this point): "and you've flown RC aircraft like this for years, right?"

Bonehead: "Yeah."

PM: "How many have you crashed?"

Bonehead: "Counting today? Twelve."

The RC program retired two weeks later after Bonehead nearly flew the remaining aircraft into the USSRC CEO's car on his weekly visit to AC.

But that's another story for another time.
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Post by Boomerang »

You know i always wondered why the RC stuff i read about in the brochure that year was never done when i was at AC. Guess that explains it. By the way i love ths stories especially since most come from around the time i went to AC.
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