Hotdog wrote:Joker, did someone piss in your Cheerios this morning?
Lighten up, Francis.
If you're gonna wear that much orange outside the Knox County limits, and you're not about to board the bus to strap in for an eight-and-a-half-minute trip downrange, you should make sure you fit one of the following job descriptions:
1) You are a ward of the State:
You've been a very bad boy -- up to and including being in the short-to-long term custody of any local, state or federal Department of Corrections -- Maricopa County, AZ excluded.
2) Rebel Alliance Rated Aircrew:
You've decided to stick it to The Man -- assuming that The Man is Emperor Palpatine. Your job may include flying X-Wing, Y-Wing, B-Wing, A-Wing, and/or Speeder types. This, sadly, also includes Snowspeeder rear gunners -- they're the Rebel equivalent to "self-loading baggage." They'd put droids back there to crew the weapons, but Jawas run the shop in too many places. It's easier to just recruit warm, but minimally effective bodies from aggrieved or oppressed worlds.
Stay on target...
3) You are an early-to-mid 1960s test pilot:
If you have
The Right Stuff (and no, not the little Space Camp medal), you can pull off that much orange and no one will say jack. YOU tell Wally and Al they're not hardcore. And Gus Grissom's so freakin' hard, he can pull off silver boots with a sage flightsuit. Remember, kids, the hatch didn't just blow -- the Mercury capsule design specifications just didn't accommodate the structural strain of containing Gus's awesomeness in that tiny space.
4) You're Bruce Willis or Ben Affleck.
Something about "armadilloes" and "zero barrier." And "all-go-no-quit," or something to that effect. The popcorn was good, though. And you gotta like the hit-or-miss CGI (hey, it's a fancy fictional military shuttle! Now it's Atlantis! Oh, wait, there are TWO OF THEM!). But Affleck gets cred, cause they let him play in the NBL -- but no amount of cred makes up for "Gigli."
5) You are Dave Bowman.
Open the pod bay doors, HAL. And sing that "Daisy" song. It soothes me.
6) Someone just stole the first Firefox prototype.
Adding insult to injury, he also stole your fancy black flightsuit and helmet. So you have to go chase down the Yankee imperialist dog in the only machine fast enough to catch him -- the
other MiG-31 airframe. And you have to do it while wearing a bright orange flightsuit and trying to remember how to say "Don't bring snacks into the museum" in Russian.
And I don't eat corn flakes.