U.S. Army Intelligence Center

Chicken? What chicken?

Actual Radio Conversation - Names Changed to Protect The Guilty Space Camp Supervisor: "Hey, program manager, what do you need?" PM: "For the thirtieth anniversary celebration, I need ten kids in flightsuits, Space Camp trainees at the Saturn V for a rocket launch ceremony." Supe...

Speaking of Charlie Foxtrot..... Mach III Manager: Um, Mr. Sr. Vice President, um sir, the UAT director is down here and he's demanding that everybody get out of the lake. SR VP: What? Mach III Manager: I've talked with the Program Manager, and we've checked the chlorine level in the lake. Its sligh...

Another Iron Gump story: Program Manager: It's raining for the third straight day, can we get someone down here to fix the leak in our office (the first B-52 trailer). USSRC Facility Manager: No problem, I'll send someone down. When it stops raining that is. Program Manager: Fine. Thank you. Three d...

Spanky: (on loudspeaker) And remember, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day!

Program Manager: Spanky, I want you to ride in the Centrifuge with a celebrity. Spanky: Who is she? PM: Not a she, it's Andy Richter from the Conan O'Brian show. Spanky: The fat guy? PM: His weight is irrelevant - you need to ride with him. Spanky: Okay. Thirty minutes later.... PM: What happened? S...

Part Four: •For every single original idea, there are at least three individuals who will try to say it was theirs and improve upon the unimprovable. (The Aviation Challenge Golden Rule) •Never sunbathe naked on the tower (Fidget’s Rule) •If you do sunbathe naked on the tower, don’t worry about it w...

Yeah, their sims weren't much more than a video game. Their sims even gave you points as you flew.

They were nowhere near as cosmic as our sims were with Eagle. The first time I went to CA to see the Eagle stuff I was blown away. I knew we had to have it.

There's more: •Negotiation is best done with your knee on the enemy’s chest and your knife at his throat. •Just because you’re wearing face paint doesn’t guarantee good training. •L’audace, l’audace, toujours l’audace (Audacity, Audacity, Always Audacity – motto of the Army War College) •There is al...

Single best decision I ever made at AC - not to be recruited by AC California.

Had we their facilities, our ideas, and our marketing scheme ideas, AC California could have been a big success - of course a major part of their program was LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.

Part Two: • If it’s stupid but works, it ain’t stupid. • Always honor the threat. • Know the opposition inside and out. • Know your wingmen inside and out. • Know WHEN to get the hell out of Dodge. • Know HOW to get the hell out of Dodge. • The side with the simplest uniforms wins. • The important t...

Problem: ECM Pod INOP

Solution: Grab nearest individual in flightsuit and pile drive them for "forgetting" to turn it on. Jokes on support crews are not appreciated.

Not the rules developed by Chief for the engagement of social situations, mind you, but the Rules for Combat, Survival, and Management that were developed by the Staff and lived by, to a certain extent. Many of these come from common sense, some from popular culture (and they should be credited from...

Kosan went through many iterations, but the T-Ops briefing and the resulting mission scenarios made the Mach III experience memorable. That was the whole intent.

U.S. Army Transportation Command The poultry in question should first delegate the authority to such a move across a main supply route (MSR) to the relevant Battalion Motor Officer (BMO). This junior officer will perform a route reconnaissance, by map if necessary, and conduct all operations forward...

Just the image of that triangular F-14 patch with the apex of the triangle center on the shoulder seam at this neck and draping over the shoulder was enough for his original callsign to be Mama's Boy. Amazingly, he quickly changed his callsign, cut the patch off and ran the rest of them down his sle...

Fortunately, that's just the tip of the iceberg.....

CAG finishing T-Ops "To think I have to sail with these bunch of wannabees."

Goes to door and attempts to slam it shut. It does not slam adequately, allowing for a second, much more violent slam that actually breaks two pictures and nearly causes a trainee to soil themselves.....

U.S. Army Armor School, Ft. Knox KY

Due to their inability to adequately determine enemy force concentrations, poultry are not recommended for route reconnaissance of any type. Route reconnaissance, particularly in combat situations, is best left to the Armored Cavalry.

HOOAH!

PROBLEM: (M1A1) Breech block will not properly close and secure the round in chamber.

Solution: Get loader out of the way before attempting to actually load the gun.